Unterhaltung
		George Carlin's Famous Monologue

Baseball is a 19th century pastoral game.
Football is 20th century technological struggle.

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park, in a Baseball park.
Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, like 'Soldier Field' or 'War Memorial Stadium'.

In football you score points.
In baseball you score runs.

In football, the ball is put into play by the offense.
In baseball, the ball is put in play by the defense, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball.

In football, you score with the ball and without the ball you can't score.
In baseball, the ball prevents you from scoring.

In football the team is run by a coach who wears street clothes.
In baseball the team is run by a manager who wears the same uniform as the players.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything is dying.

In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.

Football is concerned with downs. What down is it?
In baseball, you're concerned with ups. Who's up?

In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.

In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball he comes in to relieve someone.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog, sometimes you can't even see the field.
In baseball, if it rains we don't get to play!

Baseball has a 7th inning stretch.
Football has a '2 minute' warning.

Baseball has no time limit, we don't know when it's going to end. We might have extra innings.
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we have to go to 'sudden death'.

The objectives of the 2 games are totally different.
Football has a quarterback, known as the Field General, who has to be on target leading an aerial assault, hitting receivers in spite of a blitz. Short passes, long bombs and he might even use the 'shotgun'. He marches his troops ever onward with a ground attack punching holes in the forward wall of the enemies defensive line.
In Baseball, the object is to get home... To be 'safe' at home..... I hope I'll be safe at home!